CROGHAN: Follow Facebook commandments to evade social media excommunication

By Damien Croghan, Daily Nebraskan:

It’s 7 a.m. Your alarm clock pulls you away from your dreams and back into the daily grind. Your stomach growls; it’s breakfast time. After preparing your balanced meal of Eggo Waffles and orange juice, you pull out your iPhone. Why? So you can forever preserve your typical meal with Instagram.

After uploading your work of “art,” you rush to the bus stop. You break a sweat after power walking, but make it. The iPhone comes out again. It’s status update time.

A Facebook offender’s day often begins like this.

If you want to learn details of someone’s life, stalking is no longer necessary. Their last five posts on Facebook will share quite a bit.

Facebook is a guilty pleasure of our generation. Who doesn’t enjoy creeping a little bit? Sometimes it’s nice to see karma punish those who treated you poorly in high school with newfound rotund figures. Other times, you just want to check up on a friend/acquaintance/random girl you met at a party last weekend without sending a text… Read more

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